Old (Lengthy) (Established) (Extended Duration) Friends - trying to find an alternative to OLD

We are meeting with some friends to go out for dinner tonight. Doug and I have been friends since I think it was Grade 10. So let's see if I can figure this out. Graduated High school in 1975 grade 13, so...
1974 - Grade 12
1973 - Grade 11
1972 - Grade 10.
2010 - 1972 = 38.
38 years whew.
Doug is a very good friend, Sharon, his wife is a very good friend as well, LifeWife and I have a tendency to just drop by their place every now and then. Sometimes we call, sometimes we don't. They are always very welcoming. In fact we have dropped by a couple of times when they already had friends visiting them, people we didn't know, and that doesn't phase them a bit. "Come on in," then introductions would follow.

We are celebrating Sharon's birthday. She already had a party/celebration but we had a previous commitment and were unable to make it.

Grade 10 I think it was Doug and I were in the same English class. Frank P. was the teacher, here is the difference between then and now. Doug and I went to his house for the weekend, no big deal, no grilling from the parents, nobody thought it was weird. There is some joke here that we were riding in Frank's car, a convertible, and the radio was on, and Frank and Doug were singing. And I made some comment about how I hated it when people sang along when I was trying to listen to the song. It was really funny at the time... Even now Doug or I will just say, "You know what I really hate??" and that is enough to get a good laugh from us.

Doug and I were in art class together, Doug is an artist, I am not. We discovered photography together, the high school had a darkroom, so Doug and I would go out shooting then come back and develop our film, print a contact sheet, (does anyone know what that is anymore) then choose a few to print. We would take pictures of exactly the same thing and yet somehow his shots always looked better than mine. They had that hard to define "edge" or view or perspective that mine just didn't seem to have.

Shared memories, reminiscence of past significant events, troublesome times, very good times...

Memories

I was thinking a few days ago about one of my girlfriends, well actually my only other girlfriend. You see, I was not a "(word that means I had a lot of experience with women)" in my youth. OK OK, I can't think of a word so I spelled it out for ya.

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LifeWife is the first girl I went out with and here we are 39 years since I met my sweet wife. This year will be our 34th anniversary.
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So I asked myself, Self whatever happened to the only other significant girl (SG) from your youth? I knew her name and so that is where I started,

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I have forgotten the names of everyone else...I tried to think of some and really couldn't.
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I Googled SG's name and didn't seem to get anywhere so I Googled our high school and ended up on a site that showed our school and there her name was and the year we graduated. This site offered a chance to send a person a message and so I did, I had no idea if she would ever see it and if she did see it would she want to say Hello.

Well as it turns out she did see it and she sent me a message.

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I highly value the relationship I have with my wife we are a part of each other. So out of respect for her I talked to her about this initial exchange with SG and asked LifeWife if she was OK with this incipient communication avenue. LifeWife indicated her appreciation in being consulted and indicated that she had no worries. You know when you love someone, involving them in situation where there is a possibility for misunderstanding only makes real good sense.
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So I responded to her initial email to me and I think I may have gone a bit overboard in the amount of information I responded with. Haven't heard anything back from her yet, but that's OK. I tried to communicate to her that I appreciated her, and the impact she had on my life. Even now 35 years later, when I think of her, I smile...

It's Dangerous, isn't it??

Been thinking a bit lately about the amount of time I/We have been spending with our children. Seems to me that we do that more than we spend time with anyone else, is that wise??

I also sometimes worry a little when D3 & S2 spend time with us. Sometimes I wonder/worry if they have enough friends in their own "generation". I want them to have friends that will be there for them 10, 20, 30 years from now.

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On the other hand, let me tell you about how good it feels when my children call and want to spend time with us/me. Can I say WOW, I mean they actually seek us out. I mean, we are OLD we don't know the names of the bands they listen to, their music sounds suspiciously like discordant trash. They listen to groups like "black-eyed legumes", "nine inch spikes". Huh? What? Yet they seem to like spending time with us... It is really an incredible feeling to be loved by your children when they are adults and you know they see your faults as clearly as you see them yourself, and yet, and yet they continue to love.
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Should we be "leaving them alone" more? Are we being too intrusive? Generally I don't think so. I'm confident that they are self-assured enough that they are able to say "Now is not a good time Dad".

Thinking back to early in our own marriage when we left the province, went out to Alberta...

Anamnesis (Ancient Greek: ἀνάμνησις "recollection, reminiscence", literally "loss of forgetfulness")

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My Dad was a great letter writer, and his love shone through his use of the language, you really felt like he was sitting there writing with one of his arms around you. My Mom in her letters, would say some of the same things that my Dad would, but somehow it wasn't the same, it was almost like she was writing what she was "supposed" to write, saying things she was "supposed" to say. Dad's love just flowed from his writing. His warmth and love pervaded his writing. I recall the letter Dad wrote to my brother, we were at boarding school, telling my brother of the death of his dog. My recollection is such that I imagine my Dad with great love and sadness enfolding my brother in his arms while giving him the sad news. I really don't recall the letter itself, just the sense of love and concern my Dad expressed in the letter to my brother.
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(But you know I think that my relationship with my children is different from the relationship I enjoyed with my parents.)

More later, more thinking to do...
See page - Parents and Children (Me 'n' mah kids)

Way Too Much Fun

OK It really wasn't, but I like the sound of it.

The weather was beautiful and warm, days full 0f sunshine. The beach was pretty nice, fair bit of coral reefing close to shore which made it difficult to walk out in a straight line and just swim, but it was great for casual snorkeling. Quite a few sea urchins, which I discovered up close and personal.

I {had/got/received} so much {joy/wonder/enjoyment} from my grandson, he is learning slowly who I am, I think that the beard is what freaks him out. But he is learning. Just watching him react to various things would be enough to send me off into fits of joyous delighted laughter. I don't do that quietly either and sometimes that is all it takes to scare him off. We breakfasted lunched and dinnered with D2 S1 and GS1 every day, and that was a delight just to share those daily times with them.

GS1 is large for a 10 month old so I find we are sort of expecting more from him than he is really capable of yet, give him time though and all these things we are waiting for WILL happen.

My sweet daughter, this wonderful grandson's mother, continues to fill me with wonder and awe. I am AweFull (borrowed from Mary or Sarah, can't remember which) when I watch her being a mother to this wonderful small person. She seems to be such a natural and she is so obviously besotted with love for this little guy that it fair takes my breath away. We were at the beach and he was a little restless so D2 started singing to him. She was singing and gazing at him and he was loving it and gazing up at his Mom... (The wind has picked up and made my eyes water a bit!) such an incredible moment for me to watch love.

I am continually being made proud by my three sweet daughters. I was able at different times to walk the beach with each of my daughters, and I gotta tell you, they all amaze me, and fill me with joy. Joy that takes your heart and mind and squeezes, until you have to gasp. I am so blessed.

It is remarkable how little it costs to have a bit of fun. I was at the Dollar store with D2, she was picking up some supplies for the trip for GS1. I spotted some kites, packaged in twos for a dollar, so I bought 2 packages. We had a great time flying them, D1 and S2 had a bit of a competition going, mostly D1 taunting S2 that her kite was higher.

LifeWife has posted some, a few, OK OK, 120 at last count, pictures which do an admirable job of hitting some of the highlights.

There are people in our lives that effect us every day,
people that provide a base,
people that encourage us to be who we are,
people that accept us for who we are,
people that consistently remind us of who we are,
people that contribute to who we are,
people that help us to {change/improve} who we are,
people without whom we would be {lost/bereft/fundamentally alone},
LifeWife, I love you.