I started writing this blog merely for myself and I hadn't told anyone about it. Then I emailed BigSis told her about it and swore her to secrecy, and then I told D2, as she was really my inspiration, and then the word kinda got out and more and more people knew about it.
NOW when I make an entry, I can't wait for people to read it and I'm eagerly checking back to see if anyone left a comment.
Weird Huh? So ironic that I started out not caring or necessarily wanting anyone to read, now ...
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
New Word
I've had this floating around in my head for quite a while now and I've mentioned it to a couple of people as well.
Do you have an image that is evocative of a specific time or place? Something around which things may be clouded but that image just resonates in your mind? A significant event that has an image which you have pinpointed in time, that encapsulates what was happening at the time?
Now for me, these are usually times of great joy or a profound awareness that brings a feeling of contentment/satisfaction perhaps, or it's a personal moment of great emotional value.
All set, OK here it is - memorimage, its an image yes but it is more than that because the memories that surround that image, the thoughts that surround the image, the emotions that surround that image, the sight, the sound, the taste, the smell. All combine to present you with something that is so much more than just an image, so much more than just a memory it's a memorimage!
The memorimage of my first born daughter, combined with a feeling of awe and wonder, combined with relief at the success of the birth, combined with relief that the health of my sweet wife was not compromised. It/she's a girl! she's healthy, she's wonderfully alive, and I am a part of her she is a part of me! Wow!
The memorimage of sitting on the porch of a house on Lawson Road, talking with my big Sister, going on til 3 in the morning. Bit of a story here, BigSis and hubby were on the way back from somewhere out West, they were going to be living in Ontario for awhile and it had been a long time since I'd seen them. I decided that I'd drive out to where they were going to be coming off the highway and wait for them. It was probably 11 pm or so when I decided this, we'd been tracking them on their return to Ontario so we had a reasonable idea of when they were going to be arriving back here. So there I am 11 pm at night sitting in my car just off the off ramp from the highway waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Then there they were, I knew what car they were driving so I started the car pulled a "ue" "youee" (how do you spell the colloquial short form for a U-turn?) and followed, BigSis saw the maneuver, and not knowing that I was waiting, told her hubby, "That's my brother". Pretty cool eh? Anyway that is another one of my favourite memorimages.
The memorimage of Lifewife's face, dimly seen late one evening, on the 21st floor of her sisters apartment building as she said Yes and so began our life together, her smile, her yes, so sweetly spoken, my inability to wipe the grin off my face. Ahh, sweet, sweet memorimage. 40 Years we've known each other, this year 34 years married.
The memorimage of D2's face when she was telling me that she was "going out" with S1. Some history that doesn't bear repeating, with this guy, and based on the history, my warnings to her about him.
--Cogito interruptus
You know there is something remarkably enabling to be able to look back and say "Yup, I was wrong"
--Cogito resumptum
How wonderfully wrong I was, if you've had a chance to read my first post I express myself about him there. D2's Mom had sent her downstairs and had told her you'd better talk to your Dad, D2's apprehension (probably somewhat justified) but I like to think I handled myself well in that situation, I didn't freak out or anything, I think I spoke calmly and reasonably.
--Cogito interruptus
I've heard and seen too many situations where, the thought has been expressed, "If only I'd said something..." I was determined that I didn't want to have to live with those kind of regretful thoughts.
--Cogito resumptum
Now as I said earlier, I was wrong about this guy. Thankfully. But to get back to the memorimage, D2's face, respectful and yet quietly insistent that she was aware and confident in her judgment of him.
The memorimage of D3, standing beside the gurney I was on, me drifting in and out of a morphine haze, her smile, full of love and calming somehow, stroking my arm, just her being there, smiling down at me with love, ahh man, what a wonderful person she is. Then, hearing some of things the Dr.'s were saying and in some dark recess of my mind thinking, if I'm going, she shouldn't be here, not really knowing how serious it was, and really really not wanting her to go away.
The memorimage of D1, multiple memorimages of her strength and courage, her tenacity, her indefatigable zest to be. Just simply to be, her desire to grow, learn, inspire, these too are a part of the memorimage when I think of her.
So there you have it -- memorimage. What do you think, what are some of your memorimages? Let me know if you like, I'd be glad to hear from you.
Do you have an image that is evocative of a specific time or place? Something around which things may be clouded but that image just resonates in your mind? A significant event that has an image which you have pinpointed in time, that encapsulates what was happening at the time?
Now for me, these are usually times of great joy or a profound awareness that brings a feeling of contentment/satisfaction perhaps, or it's a personal moment of great emotional value.
All set, OK here it is - memorimage, its an image yes but it is more than that because the memories that surround that image, the thoughts that surround the image, the emotions that surround that image, the sight, the sound, the taste, the smell. All combine to present you with something that is so much more than just an image, so much more than just a memory it's a memorimage!
The memorimage of my first born daughter, combined with a feeling of awe and wonder, combined with relief at the success of the birth, combined with relief that the health of my sweet wife was not compromised. It/she's a girl! she's healthy, she's wonderfully alive, and I am a part of her she is a part of me! Wow!
The memorimage of sitting on the porch of a house on Lawson Road, talking with my big Sister, going on til 3 in the morning. Bit of a story here, BigSis and hubby were on the way back from somewhere out West, they were going to be living in Ontario for awhile and it had been a long time since I'd seen them. I decided that I'd drive out to where they were going to be coming off the highway and wait for them. It was probably 11 pm or so when I decided this, we'd been tracking them on their return to Ontario so we had a reasonable idea of when they were going to be arriving back here. So there I am 11 pm at night sitting in my car just off the off ramp from the highway waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Then there they were, I knew what car they were driving so I started the car pulled a "ue" "youee" (how do you spell the colloquial short form for a U-turn?) and followed, BigSis saw the maneuver, and not knowing that I was waiting, told her hubby, "That's my brother". Pretty cool eh? Anyway that is another one of my favourite memorimages.
The memorimage of Lifewife's face, dimly seen late one evening, on the 21st floor of her sisters apartment building as she said Yes and so began our life together, her smile, her yes, so sweetly spoken, my inability to wipe the grin off my face. Ahh, sweet, sweet memorimage. 40 Years we've known each other, this year 34 years married.
The memorimage of D2's face when she was telling me that she was "going out" with S1. Some history that doesn't bear repeating, with this guy, and based on the history, my warnings to her about him.
--Cogito interruptus
You know there is something remarkably enabling to be able to look back and say "Yup, I was wrong"
--Cogito resumptum
How wonderfully wrong I was, if you've had a chance to read my first post I express myself about him there. D2's Mom had sent her downstairs and had told her you'd better talk to your Dad, D2's apprehension (probably somewhat justified) but I like to think I handled myself well in that situation, I didn't freak out or anything, I think I spoke calmly and reasonably.
--Cogito interruptus
I've heard and seen too many situations where, the thought has been expressed, "If only I'd said something..." I was determined that I didn't want to have to live with those kind of regretful thoughts.
--Cogito resumptum
Now as I said earlier, I was wrong about this guy. Thankfully. But to get back to the memorimage, D2's face, respectful and yet quietly insistent that she was aware and confident in her judgment of him.
The memorimage of D3, standing beside the gurney I was on, me drifting in and out of a morphine haze, her smile, full of love and calming somehow, stroking my arm, just her being there, smiling down at me with love, ahh man, what a wonderful person she is. Then, hearing some of things the Dr.'s were saying and in some dark recess of my mind thinking, if I'm going, she shouldn't be here, not really knowing how serious it was, and really really not wanting her to go away.
The memorimage of D1, multiple memorimages of her strength and courage, her tenacity, her indefatigable zest to be. Just simply to be, her desire to grow, learn, inspire, these too are a part of the memorimage when I think of her.
So there you have it -- memorimage. What do you think, what are some of your memorimages? Let me know if you like, I'd be glad to hear from you.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Craftsmanship
In 1971, I think it was, we moved to a new house, very exciting for us. You see, my parents were missionaries, I was born in Nigeria, West Africa and we moved back to Canada, for the final time in 1966. I do know that I watched the Leafs win the Stanley Cup, but back then I didn't really care, after all I just moved back to Canada, I didn't even know how to skate! The builder of this new subdivision donated 3 houses to the mission. As my dad was still working for the mission, we got one of the houses, so for us it was a Big Deal. Anyway, it was sort at the start of the street and had a pie-shaped lot, with the wide end of the pie at the front along the street.
One of the things my Dad did was to build a small 2 rail fence in one of the corners of the front yard. Now when I say built, perhaps I should have said crafted. I've seen similar fences, guys have put the crosspieces up against the posts and slammed a few spikes in and, Done. Not my Dad, oh no. He cut rectangular holes into the posts and then shaped the end of the crosspieces to fit into those holes. But let me back up a bit, before putting the posts into the ground we soaked the base of the post that was going into the ground with creosote. He told me that this would prevent the wood from decomposing.
Well I drive by there the other day and, yep, you guessed it, that fence is still there and still looks good. 37 or so years after it was built, out of wood!
Here's some photos of it.
Now I could draw some parallels to that fence.
One of the things my Dad did was to build a small 2 rail fence in one of the corners of the front yard. Now when I say built, perhaps I should have said crafted. I've seen similar fences, guys have put the crosspieces up against the posts and slammed a few spikes in and, Done. Not my Dad, oh no. He cut rectangular holes into the posts and then shaped the end of the crosspieces to fit into those holes. But let me back up a bit, before putting the posts into the ground we soaked the base of the post that was going into the ground with creosote. He told me that this would prevent the wood from decomposing.
Well I drive by there the other day and, yep, you guessed it, that fence is still there and still looks good. 37 or so years after it was built, out of wood!
Here's some photos of it.
Now I could draw some parallels to that fence.
- I Like
- the creosote that my Mom and Dad soaked me in...
- I Like
- the attention to detail and care and what "Doing something right the first time" that building that fence taught me, (now I'm not saying that I'm as good a craftsman as my Dad, but he sure provided the tools...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Carefully now...
Of course the danger with blogging is that you become disconnected with what you are writing, in the sense that writing it out, is distributing it amorphously, which means that nobody is really reading it anyway right?
If we don't have someone that we talk to freely, I mean really freely, then the temptation is there to tell it to your blog. I guess there would be some therapeutic value to that wouldn't there? After all when you write you have to organize your thoughts and then translate those thoughts into sense-making words, (Ay, there's the rub...(veiled Shakesperean reference)), for in that translation, from unspoken thought to written word, doesn't it sometimes happen that we realize how petty perhaps, or how inane, what we are spilling our guts out about, really is? On the other hand, we might give up in disgust because we can't figure it out or make any sense of it.
On the gripping hand, (veiled Pournellean reference) sometimes we can become floodlit/blinded/eureka-ed and enriched by insight that can only be gained by the thinking, introspection and self-evaluation, that comes from writing something down. In fact making it more real, resolving, or at least reconciling our minds by documenting it.
If we don't have someone that we talk to freely, I mean really freely, then the temptation is there to tell it to your blog. I guess there would be some therapeutic value to that wouldn't there? After all when you write you have to organize your thoughts and then translate those thoughts into sense-making words, (Ay, there's the rub...(veiled Shakesperean reference)), for in that translation, from unspoken thought to written word, doesn't it sometimes happen that we realize how petty perhaps, or how inane, what we are spilling our guts out about, really is? On the other hand, we might give up in disgust because we can't figure it out or make any sense of it.
On the gripping hand, (veiled Pournellean reference) sometimes we can become floodlit/blinded/eureka-ed and enriched by insight that can only be gained by the thinking, introspection and self-evaluation, that comes from writing something down. In fact making it more real, resolving, or at least reconciling our minds by documenting it.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Thoughts of Mom's
Today is Mother's Day.
Generation One - My Mom, when I was small, I used to like to sit beside my Mom and rub my cheek against her upper arm. Somehow it was always cool and it was very soothing. When I was a teenager, I was an ignorant boor towards my Mom. She'd come into my room and try desperately to have a conversation with me. I'd do my best to ignore her, what a little snot I was, if I'd been my Dad and saw that I would have smacked me. Grrr. Then I grew up a bit and I liked to talk to my Mom, she had the rare ability to LISTEN. I miss her...
Generation Two - LifeWife, mother of my amazing girls. She is an amazing Mom, we didn't have much money when they were small and yet LifeWife found amazing cheap things to do that they remember to this day. There is also the infamous hairbrush, LifeWife roaring through the apartment, WHO ATE MY BRUSH! Memories of love and laughter, Thoughts of wonder, LifeWife went everywhere with the kids, I was at work and LifeWife would be out, with the kids, on one adventure or another. She nurtured, taught, loved, disciplined, held, rocked, caressed, soothed. Happy happy Mother's Day my dear sweet wife, I esteem you highly.
Generation Three - D2, new mom (well he's 11 months now so still fairly new). I have talked about watching her sing to GS1, what an incredible delight I felt observing that. She has a great example to follow, and she's also breaking new ground, not competitively, but wanting to do as good and better than her own mother. I guess that is all part of the process, we do things differently than our parents did, hopefully what we are "trying" will work better than what our parents "tried".
We all do what we can, don't we? At whichever stage we are at in our lives, our intent is to make the best decisions, based on the most current information, and to the best of our ability.
Present Tense Parents
Generation One - My Mom, when I was small, I used to like to sit beside my Mom and rub my cheek against her upper arm. Somehow it was always cool and it was very soothing. When I was a teenager, I was an ignorant boor towards my Mom. She'd come into my room and try desperately to have a conversation with me. I'd do my best to ignore her, what a little snot I was, if I'd been my Dad and saw that I would have smacked me. Grrr. Then I grew up a bit and I liked to talk to my Mom, she had the rare ability to LISTEN. I miss her...
Generation Two - LifeWife, mother of my amazing girls. She is an amazing Mom, we didn't have much money when they were small and yet LifeWife found amazing cheap things to do that they remember to this day. There is also the infamous hairbrush, LifeWife roaring through the apartment, WHO ATE MY BRUSH! Memories of love and laughter, Thoughts of wonder, LifeWife went everywhere with the kids, I was at work and LifeWife would be out, with the kids, on one adventure or another. She nurtured, taught, loved, disciplined, held, rocked, caressed, soothed. Happy happy Mother's Day my dear sweet wife, I esteem you highly.
Generation Three - D2, new mom (well he's 11 months now so still fairly new). I have talked about watching her sing to GS1, what an incredible delight I felt observing that. She has a great example to follow, and she's also breaking new ground, not competitively, but wanting to do as good and better than her own mother. I guess that is all part of the process, we do things differently than our parents did, hopefully what we are "trying" will work better than what our parents "tried".
We all do what we can, don't we? At whichever stage we are at in our lives, our intent is to make the best decisions, based on the most current information, and to the best of our ability.
Present Tense Parents
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Off-Site Backup
Within the past few years LifeWife has expressed an interest in photography. So being the type of guy who is all for personal development and enrichment. I bought her a camera. It was a pretty good little point and shoot and she loved it.
Now, years and years ago I was very interested in photography, in fact back then Time Life had a whole series of very good books on photography and I had purchased the whole set. LifeWife and I moved out to Calgary and those books were just too heavy to carry across three quarters of the country, and since then those books have gone. We don't know where or how but they're just gone. About 8 years ago my brother developed an interest in photography that has blossomed and now he's the guru. From those Time Life books and my interest earlier I have an understanding of the theory and am familiar with the terminology, but the transition from a film camera to a digital camera were challenging, so I wasn't much help. That's where GuruBri comes in.
So a couple of years go by and LifeWife expressed an interest in a camera that was a little more versatile. So I went to the guru and consulted him. Turns out that he was just investigating purchasing a camera for his daughter, and he thought that with purchasing two cameras we might both benefit from a "volume" purchase. So it looked like the investment on my part for a new camera for LifeWife was going to be in the 1500 dollar range. Now my initial reaction was that she would never agree to spending that much on a camera. So GuruBri and I arranged for him to come over for supper with all the flyer's and the glossy pictures and we were going to do a sales job on LifeWife. We planned it all out, what he would say what I would say, how we were going to pitch the whole thing to her.
GuruBri and I were sitting there five minutes into the dinner, with just the introduction to our pitch begun, with our jaws dropped. She willingly, nay wait, she eagerly acquiesced to our proposal regarding the acquisition of photographic equipment. She loves it and uses it a lot!
Anyway, part of our spring and on into the summer is to try and spend an evening a week with GuruBri, going out to locations and looking around for pictures to take and then come back and talk about some features of the camera and different things that the camera can do. Sort of a relaxed training course in digital photography.
Tonight was one of those nights. Now GuruBri had been on a trip to the land of our birth a couple of years ago, and we were looking at some of those shots and just chatting and listening to his stories, when he happened to mention that he had "lost" a whole folder of pictures in the transition to Windows 7. They happened to be the folder in which he had some very dramatic elephant pictures, and he was quite ticked that he had "lost" those pictures.
As he was talking a smile grew on my face, "What are you grinning about?" he asked.
"Well" says I with the grin growing, "Guess what I have on one of my hard drives?"
Yep, you guessed it at one point not long after he got back from the trip he had come over and I had copied all those Nigeria pictures onto my hard drive.
Hence the title of the post!!
Now, years and years ago I was very interested in photography, in fact back then Time Life had a whole series of very good books on photography and I had purchased the whole set. LifeWife and I moved out to Calgary and those books were just too heavy to carry across three quarters of the country, and since then those books have gone. We don't know where or how but they're just gone. About 8 years ago my brother developed an interest in photography that has blossomed and now he's the guru. From those Time Life books and my interest earlier I have an understanding of the theory and am familiar with the terminology, but the transition from a film camera to a digital camera were challenging, so I wasn't much help. That's where GuruBri comes in.
So a couple of years go by and LifeWife expressed an interest in a camera that was a little more versatile. So I went to the guru and consulted him. Turns out that he was just investigating purchasing a camera for his daughter, and he thought that with purchasing two cameras we might both benefit from a "volume" purchase. So it looked like the investment on my part for a new camera for LifeWife was going to be in the 1500 dollar range. Now my initial reaction was that she would never agree to spending that much on a camera. So GuruBri and I arranged for him to come over for supper with all the flyer's and the glossy pictures and we were going to do a sales job on LifeWife. We planned it all out, what he would say what I would say, how we were going to pitch the whole thing to her.
GuruBri and I were sitting there five minutes into the dinner, with just the introduction to our pitch begun, with our jaws dropped. She willingly, nay wait, she eagerly acquiesced to our proposal regarding the acquisition of photographic equipment. She loves it and uses it a lot!
Anyway, part of our spring and on into the summer is to try and spend an evening a week with GuruBri, going out to locations and looking around for pictures to take and then come back and talk about some features of the camera and different things that the camera can do. Sort of a relaxed training course in digital photography.
Tonight was one of those nights. Now GuruBri had been on a trip to the land of our birth a couple of years ago, and we were looking at some of those shots and just chatting and listening to his stories, when he happened to mention that he had "lost" a whole folder of pictures in the transition to Windows 7. They happened to be the folder in which he had some very dramatic elephant pictures, and he was quite ticked that he had "lost" those pictures.
As he was talking a smile grew on my face, "What are you grinning about?" he asked.
"Well" says I with the grin growing, "Guess what I have on one of my hard drives?"
Yep, you guessed it at one point not long after he got back from the trip he had come over and I had copied all those Nigeria pictures onto my hard drive.
Hence the title of the post!!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Relative (It's All)
LifeWife and I went to a shindig for one of my aunts, Aunt Ruth was celebrating her 85th birthday. Earlier this year we went to a shindig for another one of my Aunts, Aunt Phyllis, who was celebrating her 80th birthday. Sadly also within the past few months we went to the funeral for one of my cousins. At each "event" I was whelmed, not overwhelmed, just whelmed, by these people, my relatives. (Assuming that the construct whelm is a less radical feeling that overwhelmed. I'll check that out later.) Scott hosted the birthday celebration for his Mom, my Aunt Ruth and Scott is one of my cousins that I really didn't know. We knew each other and exchanged greetings and such at family events, but I really didn't know him. It wasn't until recently at Aunt Phyllis's that Scott and I really communicated, and it was a shared illness in one of each of our childrens lives that was the precursor to our getting to know each other better. My appetite has been whetted.
There were lots of stories I didn't know, children of cousins I had no idea who they were, relationships I was simply not a part of. And yet, they all knew me, most of them knew LifeWife, I didn't feel like an outsider, I did feel connected and a part of them, but I am wondering how much richer could that/those relationship(s) have been. I guess you need to get a little older to begin to see these things and recognize the value that is there. OR you need to grow up with the interaction happening all along. Cousins who I really didn't know, cousins I have, that I have perceived far differently from who they really are.
I grew up in Nigeria, West Africa, and really lost some connectivity with these people, these relatives, because of that. And it hasn't been until relatively recently that I have realized the gap this has left in me.
----COGITO INTERRUPTUS
Interestingly, when D1 was born we were living in Calgary. After she was born it wasn't too long before I really began to feel that we should move back to Toronto. I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing her cousins and knowing her aunts and uncles, I wanted her to have what I didn't have. I wanted her to have a lifetime of memories from infancy of being surrounded and having available the people in her life who were connected/related to her Mom and Dad.
----COGITO RESUMPTUM
LifeWife is far better at keeping track of my cousins than I am. Its like she has the program and when I'm not sure whats going on she brings me up to speed.
Will this change? Will I try to get to know them better?
I hope so...
There were lots of stories I didn't know, children of cousins I had no idea who they were, relationships I was simply not a part of. And yet, they all knew me, most of them knew LifeWife, I didn't feel like an outsider, I did feel connected and a part of them, but I am wondering how much richer could that/those relationship(s) have been. I guess you need to get a little older to begin to see these things and recognize the value that is there. OR you need to grow up with the interaction happening all along. Cousins who I really didn't know, cousins I have, that I have perceived far differently from who they really are.
I grew up in Nigeria, West Africa, and really lost some connectivity with these people, these relatives, because of that. And it hasn't been until relatively recently that I have realized the gap this has left in me.
----COGITO INTERRUPTUS
Interestingly, when D1 was born we were living in Calgary. After she was born it wasn't too long before I really began to feel that we should move back to Toronto. I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing her cousins and knowing her aunts and uncles, I wanted her to have what I didn't have. I wanted her to have a lifetime of memories from infancy of being surrounded and having available the people in her life who were connected/related to her Mom and Dad.
----COGITO RESUMPTUM
LifeWife is far better at keeping track of my cousins than I am. Its like she has the program and when I'm not sure whats going on she brings me up to speed.
Will this change? Will I try to get to know them better?
I hope so...
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